First Poem..

The first words.. or say the first poem to you the twenty twenty one,

Feel it.. Embrace it.. Love it or deny it..Discard it to all as serious fun,

The fun it is not.. Though it is serious with a hope for candid new year,

2021 say the people it is.. Hence i put my words to u without fear,

Well as time span 2021 you may have many many up in your sleeves,

To unfold & let entire world know that there won't be any forced leave,

From viruses that you on own might have emptied from your pocket n purse,

Which u could stop emptiying out from there as one old curse,

But you didn't..

Or you didn't want to n all because of your anger..

Anyway🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏..

Anyway anyway.. I am all but to appease you n scirbe a poem for you,

अब तो थोड़ा ख़ुश हो जा यार.. Zing a thing to be with your own who who,

Should i tell this too & i cant since i really don't know it's who you like,

Though i believe its love that you aren't admitting to all because of hike,

In hatred n intolerance n what not.. Well well.. You are the in flow of time yaar,

Hence how can you be afraid of intolerance n hate in your primstine pyaar,

How????..

You can't be since you are so young n beautiful n say with an open mind,

So choice is yours.. Get infected of hate virus or be of super jovial kind..

              Choice is yours..

      Poem is yet to be finished..🌹❤🙏👍..

Warmth..

For a while let me rinse my head into my charm, 

My words for her..To remain in heart completely warm, 

A kind of cold eyes sometimes stares me in deep, 

A corpse I believe it is.. With no emotions no heart beep, 

Dead I feel at those times n then i put my hand on my chest, 

To feel the beats within me & I find it's there beating & have quest, 

I get alive again n I declare there's warmth with in me, 

My eyes get moist as so many emotions run in me free, 

I bind none.. I give these a loving shape thru my words, 

In hope to reach to her warmth.. In alone not as herd, 

But then as ever there remains a tepid silence dead n cold, 

My warmth could not melt her.. I return again n mould, 

Me into fiery ball of warmth so full with lively life, 

I declare till death I wanna live it.. So what even if it's of strife...

Drunk n drunkerd..

Drunked if you are or say one is or say if I am,

Though I am not..

Then stop being one such & begin being one  natural as one aam,

Vyakti.. Admi or say a person who went & did go through a lot,

In daily life from this to that & suffered but why?? give a thought,

Chamchas though did never & all because they may have sold their consciences,

For a few more facilities n in life getting much better choices,

क्या थी वो और क्या हैं या होगीं या हो सकती हैं.. how do I get to know,

क्योंकि मैंने तो कभी भी कुछ पूछा नहीं though they may reap what they sow,

Karmas you know leave none hence to each as per their deeds,

People come people go life goes on..Some fail some succeed,

Some remains partial & biased though some are always fair,

To the core of their heart with mind body & soulful care,

But then why in some as drunk only selfishness & cruelty flow,

No one knows though morals in their life are always low..

At cost of everything & @ the rate of all betrayals..

                                       🙏🙏..

चलो जाने दो.. Ok let's go..

पर कभी किसी को ज़रा सी भी शर्म आई या कोई फ्रक पडा,

नहीं बिलकुल ही नहीं.. क्योंकि उनकी दुनिया मे था खडा,

भेदभाव पैसा रिश्ते और इन आऊस लेविस डेकोरेशनस

नहीं हैं भाई सारी साहब.. फिर भी ये भी घर है इन सबमेशन,

घर है ये अपना और जी.. साहब थे तुम.. और मत बोलो हो एक भाई,

दिल से खून से या चलो वैसे ही.. पर नही थी कहने मे कोई गहराई,

एक अपने कारोबार का सशक्त यहाँ बना अनफिट और रोंदू,

खुद होता वहाँ तो क्या करता क्या रहता बना एक भोंदू,

बिल्कुल नही.. टैक्सी आती कार आती या फिर खुद के अपने आते,

पर दो माह अपने लिए सिर्फ भाई भाई .. पर कौन सा और किस खाते,

 चलो फिर भी.. पर फिर भी कितना समझा गर दिल से कहा था भाई,

ईश्वर जाने और ईश्वर ही समझेंगे इस खुदगर्जी वाली प्रीत पराई,

पैसा पैसा ही तो था और पैसा अब भी है इनके जीवन मे रिश्ते,

अमीर हो तो बुला लोगे.. पर गरीब को भी क्या कह सकते हो आ न यार इस रस्ते...

         कभी नही..  But I let go n move on .. 🙏🙏..

           

एक दिन..

मुफलिसी के दिन थे पर थी ख्वाहिशे हजारों ,

जेब मे न था एक धेला पर थी सपने मे कोई पारो,

सुनता था रोज बापू के ताने पर आये न मुझे बनाने बहाने,

कि कह दूं उनसे कि क्या करूँ किस्मत का जो मेरी न माने,

कहते है कि फूंटी तकदीर की होती नही कोई नुमाइश,

मैं भी चुप रहा ये सोच कि शायद कोई देखेगा ये आजमाईश,

देखा भी और शायद जाना भी दुनिया ने पर फिर भी,

मैंने भी कहा कोई नी.. मैं खुश हूँ पर मैं सह लूगाँ ये बेरुखी,

फिर दिल ने कहा जाने दे यार और देखना एक दिन,

तेरा भी टेम आयेगा जब तेरे सपने न होगें छिन्न भिन्न,

तो इस एक दिन की हसरतों मे गुजार देता हूँ मै अपना वक्त,

क्या करे शिकायत जिन्दगी से और सुनेगा भी कौन सशक्त,

एक दिन और वो दिन होगा कैसा पर तब क्या होगी शिद्दत,

जीने की रहने की खाने की पीने की या कहूँ तो क्या निकलेगी अपनी मईत,

कौन जाने उस इक दिन के बारे.. 🙂👍🙏...

Depress??

like one mesmerizing song I believed.. life shall remain such forever,

full of melodies.. Rinsed with music & lyrics that would end never,

Life I believed..would be an unending siesta of living desires,

embracing these I would keep on sleeping with romantic fires,

ha ha ha.. that was a fascinating dream I think I had had,

some 50 years back when I was a kid having a dream..not bad,

well that was then the past & now is me living in these times,

& times I know are no longer of learning nursery rhymes,

depression I believe is a great cousin of covid these days,

& both are on prowl together & find victims in different ways,

Covid literally remains in hunt of unwearers of masks outside,

& depression literally in hunt of all those who stood besides,

all that can be negative in life.. Though I know it's a mental state,

& that needs to be cured like all other diseases in deadly plates,

I mean there is no greater & stronger desire than to live life,

bad & worst times do come & these do not remain forever as strife,

times in life change & change is forever & do change from days worst,

to better days..hope I believe is the sustaining tonic at first,

Since then I have been consuming this tonic to keep on move,

I don't know where & when I shall perish but I always like to improve,

my skills my living habits & my resolves to live & just never give up,

& if I am being used then let it be.. I'm not gonna squeeze me into pulp,

because of hates of manys..rather i am firm believer of change,

acchay din aayenge & what's harm in believing these in own range,

though I know these won't come yet it's good all the times to live life,

in persual of acche din than to give up own life through inserting own strifes,

 With in & getting Died of Deeply sowed Depressions,

than get on living in real & braving tough times in professions..

                              👍

 

Locked Down..

On that day when dusk had set & darkness began to spread,

I found myself locked in my confines & my limits got defined in my head,

Locked down..blared all my systems & all I could do was nothing,

i measured my yards on feet.. Meters from now on were something,

to be celebrated or to get nostalgic about only time could tell,

and time have been telling since then with squeezing yell,

ye..yaa..yippee..taklu you are trapped & didn't I say my SAY,

kee apna time aayegaa & then jumped n punched my head's grey,

Aray yaar ye bache huay to rehne dow..I meekly screamed at kaal,

Par kaal kissi ka dard kya janegaa..ok I said.. daal aur daal,

pains.. disappointments.. worries.. etc etc..am here to face all,

but after you get fully satisfied then leave & accept your massive fall,

from heights of humanity to deepest dark holes of shames,

and you shall fall below this since you still think it was & is just a game,

No it wasn't & it's not..Mr Corona & Know none in world is of you,

you just are trying to infect by being invisible glue,

But know here in world there is one omnipresent & omnipotent,

Who too is invisible but visibly lives in us as our FAITH PDF DOCUMENT,

I let you know what that document reads for us & future generations,

All unto ME.. Worsests of the times pass without any further delebrations,

This too shall pass..I am busy in inventing one ultimate vaccine,

to cut through & eliminate this virus & know the speed of my machine,

it's trillions of times collective & faster & know about my present abodes,

it's in minds bodies & souls of Scientist Doctors with tons of loads,

to save human race..to save civilization..to save literally each,

Lockdowns shall end in any way.. so shall this deadly 😈  leech,

And finally the PDF ended with a question that remains reflective,

SHALL the Inhuman BE HUMAN AFTER THIS??.. Let me know yours perspective..

                    Regards..🙏🙏🙏

At par..

Things I know are at par in life.. Still hopes do float,

Still there remains a purpose to live life wd unfathom gloat,

Well if here has to be a choice with my death n your life,

I shall always go with my death thus enjoy under destiny's knife,

nevertheless.. I believe it's much pleasant to have hearty laugh,

all alone.. with recalls of memories rinsed n drowny with 2nd half,

ha ha ha.. these days I fantacize of having my own wings,

so I could fly back to my space.. But are fantacies the real things,

no these are not.. These shall remain pure fantacies,

though having wings ye khayal accha hai for self control n self appease..

else how difficult it would be live life in confinement in a hotel room during lockdown.. 

  

Paradoxically mine???..How??

Life at times throws in ways a kind of paradox,

one runs after one such who keeps living in own equinox,

the one who hardly bothers about you & hardly cares,

you are the past for him or her.. technically such is in own sphere,

well I know that literally many remain trapped in their own thoughts,

remaining bitter, unnatural & unreasonably demanding with own slots,

how can a goer to own sphere be mellowed to come back,

well I don't know.. All I know is to quit n unburden such hack,

From my back..

for own sake..well this can only be known to one precious pristine,

one who values one's own self respect.. one's own self esteem,

if life would've put me as abundoned by some for no valid reason,

I would never run after such for my own sake & I would bear such treason,

as I always always know that things in life are much better,

than running after a mirage & getting trapped in low esteemed platter,

I am better but I am not bitter & I know things happen for good,

in retrospect I find that my life would be in mess had I fed to that snake hood..

Don't Worry Be Happy..

बन्द कमरे मे लेटा था मै बिल्कुल तन्हा अकेला,

छाई हुई थी उदासी उमड रहा था दिल मे यादो का मेला,

क्या करू क्या न करू ऊठू बैठू या फिर कोई चिन्ता ही पाल लू,

इसी कशमकश मे था..कि भीतर से एक डर ने कहा ले सभाल तू,

सभाले इस डर को निकला मै बाहर.. सहमा सहमा सा,

अपनी खामौशी को खुद ही सामे खुद ही बना गहमा गहमा सा,

पर बस सिफॅ अपने लिए..अपनी ही खामोशी सुनने के लिए,

अपनी ही तन्हाई से लडते हुए उससे गले मिलने के लिए,

ऐसे ही चलते चलते..सुना दूर बज रहा जो गाना होता है,

जब भी ये दिल उदास होता है.. जाने कौन आस पास होता है,

अईयो..भागा मै वापस.. हाथ धोये साबुन से.. सैनेटाईज किये,

चेहरे पर हसी ओढी.. लगाया ये गाना.. अपने लिये जिये तो क्या जिये....     🙂🙂🙂🌅☀️🙂🙂🙂

Darkest Hours..

In life whenever everywhere sets in the deadly 😈 darkest hour,

when minutes seem endless.. spreading from steep & dark tower,

when Satan begins to believe that he won't let humanity exist,

when life goes on tailspin when emptiness is all that persist,

Precisely At this darkest hour Up in horizon rises a shimmering light,

Of 🌞.. Piercing through the darkest hours showing world its Might,

From that very moment a kind of triumps begin against the deadly beast,

by entire human race across the nations neither at last nor the least..

Ego..

while thinking about ego & asking ego is what, why & how,

I at first stopped at me to know about my reacts then & now,

I found I had an inbuilt ego that didn't leave a space,

to opinions of other.. but my problem was of me only in this case,

since as egoist I felt I was superior to all but then I asked..how,

I got no justifiable answer..within & I said to me..What now,

should I go on like this..should I feed more to my inflated ego,

should I keep toying with own theories as if creating own tumbling Legos,

I answered all these within to my self & then moved on in life,

to stay with my realities & being adjusting to overcome all strifes,

can say now in real I am not egoist yet did put me at egoists angle,

to know what seeps in mind of any to sing all times own preamble,

no one gives damn about this.. admitting such isn't easy though,

and none couldn't & can't make them to admit their egoist blows,

these shall remain such come what may & what may come,

egoism perhaps is unsatiated addiction which grows from its stem,

to such monstrous levels where things get engulfed behind dark veils,

all seem rosy inside but out there in real world uneasy calm prevails,

all wanting to avoid arguments bitterness & unpleasant commotions,

call these what else.. but think is there still a room for these calm emotions..

              Nevertheless..🙏

Title..

On the day when I was about to get my Title.. I found,

I had passed away few days ago & I fell in grief profound,

May be the first person in entire world to be in profound grief,

upon own demise.. Ha ha ha ha & later I covered me with a leaf,

As I probably was in hell 😃 & as fresh soul was completely naked,

perhaps was getting washed before getting carried to new rake,

Paap Dhul Rahe Thay Mere Shayad..😁

And later I found.. Here i was TITLED AS MR SO(U)LO,

to be pushed into some new body.. may be to reborn again in Apollo..

Ha ha ha ha ha... Holi Hai😃😃😃🙏..

Better

On talking to some.. Some days ago.. that some said "I am better",

"Awesome" said I how can't you be.. but in life do you really matter,

for many you don't..

but then to me you do matter but still..

your life your obstinate ways & your profound beliefs,

your addictions your likings your tries to get mental reliefs,

anyway about time..

all know is great leveller & against all odds is the only even,

because time is always right hence is upright at any given,

moment &..

that's time impartial, perfect & constantly in search of better,

anyway that's search of TIME & in time all get to know WHO matter,

well then the voice of that some.. I am better.. did stayed in ears,

mind though differed with it & said.. Howwww.. I am unclear,

well I said you are mind hence u think from your mindful head,

and I am all but HEART💓 not broken💔.. and still holds a thread,

unto my heart to remain FIRM in control..to remain sane,

to remain hearty.. to remain BETTER & YET AGAIN..

Mirage..

Deeply desired is someone..One kept saying n kept running after,

At times behaving foolishly n becoming matter of many' laughter,

A mirage got developed in one's mind n at drop of hint got ready to bare,

Body Mind n literally all even to that  someone's cold glare,

Not interested is never seen by one addited to running after mirage,

But Mirage is what... Mirage is mrig trishna unsatiated desires for barrage...

Sometimes..

Sometimes I need to keep my mind calm & at peace,

sometimes of course I need to restrain my self & be at ease,

I know it's exactly here where lots of turbulences erupt,

and all of mind forcing many to go uncontrolled beserk,

thus throwing lots & lots of verbal volleys though all real,

though being in control of own & being little more jovial,

define the person that he or she is n more about that biased,

means that's what he or she could do at the most as disguised,

well I always believe that if one becomes willing to quit as unpaid,

then no one can stop him or her being of super pleasant grade,

sometimes I know the situations of these kind come in life,

be willing to give up that fractional amount without any strife,

coz it thus defined them as the persons with full of hatred & hate,

one month's two month's at the most.. let them enjoy at your fate,

let them..but then be thankful that you somehow got spared,

from mental & emotional tourtures n be thankful that you got prepared..

Shayari..

Ok let me recite or utter a shayari though I hardly am that intense,

I am lively & don't take those words on heart that have no substance,

I believe I am big hearted & all I know that when it's on me then i say let go,

what remains in others blured mind though I quitely get to know,

through their sounds words & false moods & well then I turn to my songs,

yes my songs that I listen n at times I manage to say.. I am in wrong,

there are many young who are romantic & are inclined to enjoy a date,

n be as much romantic shayarana as possible n cracking a fate,

of lifetime.. shayari is all about sadness n some unfulfilled dreams,

but I choose the different way.. I remain  lively with calm screams,

that I at times usher & usher with in & with all emotions enjoying songs,

more of sad & romantic geners & at times wanting to prove me wrong,

cry heart out & Shed tons of tears & be sort of vulnerable & intensely sad,

I tried but I couldn't be.. as I know me & my responsibilities & I refuse to be mad,

by returning to my realities.. all that I feel within is good & pleasant,

shayari I then tend to be should be of heart n from heart n for own significant,

like that song Pal bhar ke liye koi humme pyaar kar le..Jhoota hee sahi,

ha ha ha & I with such thought become shayar for a while..bas yun hee..

           

    

Day Dreamer..

I am À day dreamer & I on days of travels do dream a lot,

And with a purpose.. to pass the time at those tough timed slots,

And well at times I get answer through these for some of queries,

in dream I put me in awkward situations.. n wait for positive from biased juries,

not gonna come.. never did n shall never.. anyway but it's a real story,

that kept being told n shall keep being told in practical & in theory,

and I try sustaining me through escaping into world of day dreams,

coming out from it to real world is like stepping out with gleam,

on face.. from multiplex after watching hit n hit entertainer,

means in my travelling sojorns I somehow create a sort of trailer,

of my life.. Funny na.. I know but I also know I am not doing any harm,

to any.. neither am I interfering into any life n space.. I just return from,

day dreaming to my own tough tougher & unforgiving world,

I try living in it with limping steps & I haven't become absurd,

& ackward towards..

my worries & to my pains & no I haven't escaped into world of drugs,

reason I take resort in harmless day dreaming & I emerge,

again & in my real world n am seen as working hard to meet ends,

Life I know hasn't been fair to me for reasons unknown & I again bend,

to escape into having one more season of dream on traveling day,

this time I am planning to have a dream where my words become the final say..

     😃😃😃.. Coming back.. Don't worry..

 

Knock knock knock..

Knock knock knock.. Was the sound that I heard & got up to see,

Who is it? I inquired.. Me am pain.. out came reply from some with glee,

On face.. and I with surprise on face said.. O pain & with such laughter,

Kal aana.. I am already with too full of you n please don't come after,

par Kahan.. pain literally follows me with lots n lots of teaseing n puns,

knocking down me with its smears & peers & I could stop none,

And these enjoy feast n siesta over my painful interior & exterior,

sometimes beating me like a dhol & at time making me feel superior,

in handling pain n it's peers & all with committed smiles & glee,

no escape from you.. I surrender & let these sneak in n I flee,

to bring some refreshments.. As I know these hungry devils otherwise,

shall put their teeth into my skins n shall bite n suck like good bad guys,

Don't get me wrong here as I am just trying to make a kind fun of me,

Pain shall keep on knocking n sneaking in.. but I always shall be..

                     A Human 

               

How are the things..

Well.. Old Man how are the things.. Asked some greater but true,

I said.. all is good & nothing peculiar in life & certainly nothing new,

Well.. I continued.. And just tried inquiring from life about some odds,

that continued & continue in my life & did these had your nods,

only life could & can answer but life as ever chose to remain silent as h in hour,

let you be silent I whispered though I knew time would make h roar through its power,

Nevertheless.. In emptiness of emotions the only sound that remains,

is of yours & yours only.. Hear it.. accept it or disregard it as blinding pain,

I choose to hear my inner voice & with this I wear my emotional turncoat,

I just simply hid me in it.. and at times I develop heavy & cold throat,

and at those times I understood I needed  tobe engulfed with warmth,

of understanding.. love & care.. of laughter & of longing upon resting arm,

where I could rest my head & well some tip taps of fingers on forehead,

and of whom.. Ha ha ha time knows.. and you the life often teased me n fled,

into your spheres of future.. to bring what I really didn't n don't know,

keep teasing.. keep asking.. your choice.. I know on my end I shall be cold as snow..

   No warmth of any will make me alive then..😃