Did I....???????

Never did I.. Do I.. And shall I be saying or insisting that to reach me,
That who I were in love with.. And it had tobe between us as free,

Individuals n loving each other.. That who is to reach whom to say,
I love you.. With a tight hug and a kiss and.. A whispering song to play,

Tum bin. . For example..  O.. Yeah..  I know it's a song more of desires,
I am not compatible with.. I will rather reach than to perspire,

With all the cold sighs..  And literally I did such.. Get to know my sheets,
Of history..  I didn't make any wait.. But I waited despite my treats,

Sometimes I wonder as to why always the reverse happen to me,
I desired the one n I got despite all bad names.. I couldn't forsee,

I thought these are family n why should any with in family be doing such,
To dispute own son or daughter in front of other to settle a grouch,

Or to gain a sympathy.. I mean why..  What wrong could here been in me,
In my behaviour... Yeah I did understand.. All I wish now that I cud set me free,

But that was all I understood years later after I got to know these,
These were not loving I came to know.. These all wanted me to be,

Slaves of them for forever...  For the ehsaans..  These thought.. have done,
To make us together... And Me be paying price as one slave or some,

Be living with entire generations to let these be known as Royals,
And Me n us as the feeble Slaves..  And ironically as loyals,

I regretted my feelings.. I regret n I shall keep regretting these of me,
That why couldn't I read or understand their double behaviour n cud see,

Their partial n blinding approaches where these saw nothing or ignored to see,
Any wrong in any equal..  Nevertheless I earned them millions so let this too be,

Settled by God one day. . I know me n I know into what I have gone through,
And all things coz of financial situations.. Hence in true to them I am who,

I mean nothing.. Though I would be better had I decided to be their slave,
But I decided against n I fought but only to get name.. Obscure as octave,

N I here remain me.. Always as me living with my two hands,
To do everything from namaste to all works..  I regret I could understand...